In the darkness of our struggle to exist simulataneously with indirect assaults on our senses, like when somebody long ago says: “I’ve not moved” and they have. How could she have moved and have me or you not notice. What a friendship that is. We posit truths towaqrds existence and all aspects. Like when we decide to call that friend and say “You didn’t move? I drove by your old place and it was empty.” We instinctively knew something was going on but didn’t know what. When the truth comes it settles us and we know for certain that it was an honest struggle of the heart and not aspects like jealousy or rage or greed.
This is struggling in the dark.
When we posit truth in struggle then we know for certain we will heal: that’s a Third Dicta of the Dalai Lama’s wife, his muse. Dicta is our own truth that came to us in a key moment of our life, like when I was fourteen and a half, his muse said to me, “All things have emotion.” That’s a dictum if you hear it and know it to be truth. My response was, “I’ll serve that.” My second dicta.
My third dicta: all things have emotions means that spirit exists in all things. My youthful dicta. I changed the second and found that I had to serve myself for a while after every estrangement, death included, of my aunt who raised me. These estrangements, left me without recourse to serving other’s emotions or spirits, but I continue to do so today after healing myself in a ten year discourse of solitude, like staying home every night for three years and not going out once, because I wanted to. Now I go out, and often but I want to and still serve the second dicta on a limited basis. Worth repeating a second time as dicta’s of youth are all encompassing, all serving and all worth remembering and redoing and redoing and redoing. That’s my fourth dicta. The third and fourth came in my thirties and forties. Two came early on which I won’t share for a while, but my second dicta sped me on to learning about others, emotionally or spritiually as the situation dictated. They are the same when you are enlighted but differ emotionally and vicariously when we suffer as most of us do. For instance, when suffering in grief and you know it, you are justicely or vicariously experiencing it and not just feeling it, resulting in dicta. But when enlightened you suffer grief alone, resulting in nothing but dispensation of the aspect. The distinction results in dictums of dicta. Like when asking a question and not getting an answer only a gut response that tells you everything that you must do. That’s a dictum of dicta. For example, when separating from my husband, I always had fear of living alone but when I found the right place, I could move in with ease and still see him with out grief. (That’s Dictum.) He stayed at the same place and grieved daily, almost minute by minute. (That’s dicta) The difference was the state of readiness, a dicta. I had to move out and remain separate and do my own things, a seventies protestatation that I have lived by since then. His dicta: stay at home and remain married despite the cost of her and what I do to her, rejection of instincts, heart, and body. All mind. That’s a dicta for regents, squares and Hollywoom moguls and not lovers of respect. I want a lover and almost had one who respects me and lets me do what I want. I said had as I still do but had a dream of disrespect at his doing and I find it impossible to make ados with him. The dream is an apect of dicta forming, and dictum making. Two aspects of Dharma Creation. See the Buddha’s teaching in Sri Lanka on internet: Dharma Times Zero. More tomorrow.
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